Author of Adult & Young Adult Romance

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

C is for...


Confidence.  A little cliche, maybe, but like attitude, this is a big one.  Firstly, when I think of this word, I envision this huge billboard I see every morning on my way to work.  It's Albert Einstein, tongue sticking out in that nanny-nanny-boo-boo fashion, hair all in dissaray as it so often was. Enscripted below his royal genius is the phrase: As a student, he was no Einstein. Confidence: Pass it On.

I love this billboard. Think it's one of the best of the day.

Why is confidence such a huge deal?  If you're saying, "Well, duh..." then let's think about this for a moment. Because, believe it or not, a lot of people confuse confidence with arrogance. Two totally different things, naturally, but oftentimes when perveying someone by outward action, one is often mistaken for the other.  Take an attractive girl, for instance.  You see her, she's got gorgeous hair, a killer smile, beautiful body.  Her shoulders are squared, spine straight, she walks with... what?  Confidence, right?  But so often we perceive her as arrogant. She thinks she's all that and a bag of potato chips, am I right? Just because she's beautiful, just because she's popular, just because we think she's completely unapproachable.


Sometimes that's true.

Most of the time, however, it's not.  This idea can be plugged in to a lot of difference scenarios.  The confident writer (yeah, OK... *smile*), the confident businessman, musician, the worker in the cubicle next to you who, no matter what, always puts a smile on her face and refuses to say a mean word about anybody. Confidence spreads into the very marrow of anyone who will welcome it.  You just have to believe in... who? You got it.  Yourself.


Let's do this, then, shall we? Let's have enough confidence in our OWN selves to, one, never judge someone by their outward appearance and, two, always give them the benefit of the doubt. Get to know someone before you slap the ugly scarlet "A" (arrogance) on their chest. Because confidence in yourself leads to having confidence in others.  What is it RuPaul used to say?  If you don't love yourself, how in the heck you gonna love somebody else?

How do you keep confidence?
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15 comments

Kyra Lennon said...

My confidence is not so great. It comes in waves. Sometimes I have a lot of self-belief, and other times I wonder who I think I am, trying to write a book!

Grammy said...

Hi,
I reckon maybe I have always had confidence. Maybe a little bit of arrogance, too. My mom taught all of us that we could do anything we set our minds to, and I believed her. I have lived almost 79 years now, and if I believe, I know I can. God gives me the strength to do things He wants me to do.
Regards to you. I enjoyed your post.
Ruby

farawayeyes said...

Some days are harder than others. Thanks, I needed this today.

Sharkbytes said...

I often fall victim to the notion that if others don't believe in me then I can't do something. Good stuff. I'm hoping to visit all the blogs on the A-Z Challenge in April.

Cynthia said...

For me, my inner strength a.k.a confidence comes from believing in myself and not relying on the approval of others.

Andrew Leon said...

Hey, I have total writers' confidence. I know I'm a good writer, and I don't have an issue saying it.
The real problem is that other people don't really like to hear anyone else say that kind of thing. You're not really allowed to objectively look at yourself and be honest about anything good you find. You can talk all you want about your weaknesses, but you're never allowed to say anything about your strengths. I don't think it's really about appearing arrogant, either. I think it makes people feel inferior because they don't feel like they can say those things, so they'd rather you just shut up about it if you can.

Which is, you know, why women aren't really allowed to admitting to being beautiful. And why so many women have image issues.

Alyssia said...

A marvelous insight, Andrew, and so very true. I tell my husband time and time again, I know I'm not a bad writer. Actually, I'm a good writer, better than a lot I've read who are MULTI-published. Is that arrogance? Heck, no! Confidence all the way!

And how right you are about women and their insecurity on image. One of the many reasons I refuse to subscribe to magazines like Cosmo. In fact, I just saw a weight loss commercial the other day, where a spokeswoman said, "I went from a size 8 to a size 0! Thanks..." After I picked my jaw off the floor, I said, "What the heck's wrong with a size 8?!"

Judy said...

Great post! Confidence in ourselves and confidence in our loved ones goes a heckuva long way!! Thanks!!

Tonja said...

I agree you have to be confident in your abilities to be successful in anything. And it doesn't mean arrogance - it's inner confidence, trust in yourself that you need.

Alyssa said...

Great posts here, I really like your theme for this challenge. By the way I'm a new follower :)

My blog is http://lifeisgood-forever21.blogspot.com/

Tina said...

Absolutely a great post. My confidence has been knocked down to next to nothing over the past year, but having small successes does help getting it back up.

J a c q u e l i n e M u k w e t o said...

Confidence is good when it is in something lasting... I agree that putting someone in a category because of appearance alone is silly...

Elayne said...

Hi! Stopping by from the A~Z challenge. Enjoyed your post on confidence. I have a beautiful, smart, confident daughter-in-law ( who looks very much like the girl in your pic). She is more often than not viewed or judged by her appearance alone. Yet, she is one of the sweetest, kindest people I know :)
elayne
http://elayneminich.blogspot.com/

Shannon Lawrence said...

Awesome message! Confidence can make all the difference, whether in writing, appearance, dating, schooling, etc. Of course, sometimes it is easier said than done.

Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z

Rhia Roberts said...

Good post and you've commented on something I talk about quite frequently: confidence and self-belief. In fact, I looked at it from the different side in my Bursting Bubbles post. I love the Einstein billboard...priceless.
Rhia from Five Minute Piece (about # 864 on A to Z list

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