I'm not much on New Year's resolutions. Sure, I always want the run-of-the-mill cliches everyone wants: a better diet, a stricter workout regime, and more time with my family. But to list goals I intend to keep? I'd rather not set myself up for failure.
But something happened at the end of last year that made me want to try harder this year. Epiphany pops up like that, I suppose. You never know when it'll happen or, more importantly, why it happens when it does. One morning, while pulling into the parking lot of my son's pre-school, the thought suddenly hit that I should already have the option by now to go back home and write. The idea slammed like a punch to the chest. So rattled by shock, I was, that, as my son and I walked hand in hand from the parking lot to the front door, I fought both a sudden bout of tears and the wind whipping and dragging freshly curled hair across expensive lipgloss.
I wanted to hide inside my closet, sit on the floor, and sob. I wanted to call in to my brand new job and tell them I was sending movers to pick up all my stuff; that I couldn't do this anymore.
Instead, I turned on Spotify and drove.
For the rest of the day, I zombied out. Grunted in response to questions. Typed the wrong date at least five times. I mean, it was really bad. I even thought about calling local counselors to see which one could fit me in the soonest. What was wrong with me? Why hadn't I tried harder to write everyday? Didn't my writing career mean anything? Didn't I want to write for a living? Wasn't that The Goal?
Reasons but no excuses. Raising a three year old. Working a stressful day job. Attempting to keep a clean house. Bottom line was/is that I had taken writing out of my schedule. A good friend and fellow author recently told me that, according to her brother, we allot time for that which means the most to us. In other words, if it's that important, you'll find a way.
So, as you might have guessed, my New Year's Resolution is to Write. Not just to write, but to Write Every Day. Because to answer my own question, yes, I still want to write. I still want to write and to have written. I still want to publish and connect with readers through memorable characters and plots.
That is still The Goal.
What's yours for this year?
Peace, Love & Junior Mints,